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“Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.”

About: Funny quotes.

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11-20 Quotations of 2764

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“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”

Emo Philips quotes

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Forgiveness quotes.

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“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Youth quotes. For: T-Shirt quotes.

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“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'”

Charles M. Schulz quotes (American cartoonist, 1922-2000)
Character: Charlie Brown quotes. Book: Peanuts quotes

Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Wisdom quotes, Funny quotes, Lies quotes, Questioning quotes.

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“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”

Will Shriner quotes (American Comedian, b.1953)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Death and dying quotes.

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“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Men and Women quotes, Foolishness quotes, Women quotes.

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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

Drew Carey quotes (American Comedian, b.1958)

Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Hate quotes, Jobs quotes.

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“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”

Lynda Montgomery quotes

Similar Quotes. About: Food quotes, Funny quotes.

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“If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Advice quotes.

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“There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.

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“An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Pessimism quotes, Optimism quotes.

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