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“Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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“A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“On the other hand, you have different fingers.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“I was born by Caesarean section, but you can't really tell... except that when I leave my house, I always go out the window.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, "Hey, maybe I wrote that."”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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