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“Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, "A house guest," you're wrong because I have just described my kids.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)

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“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" "Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" "Wasn't there any change?"”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Courage quotes.
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“Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Knowledge quotes.
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“I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ''Checkout Time is 18 years.''”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Age quotes.
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