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“Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted "Bingo!" counted as a yea or a nay.”
Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)

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“We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.”
Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.”
Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“If the evens of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American - our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.”
EvolveToAnarchy Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.”
Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.”
ghoststories Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader.”
Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a faggot?"”
Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's cool, because it's not. You know what is cool? Smoking. Smoke while you vote.”
Hassle Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote, man of the people, and reveal him to be a bit of a fat cat. Unlike the President who — as we all know — before attending Andover and Yale, was a Cockney matchstick girl dying of tuberculosis.”
JulieShul Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's "offensive to the religion of Islam." Apparently, the religion of Islam is offended by anything without a plot.”
Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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