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“Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)

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“All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
Similar Quotes. About: Life quotes, Funny quotes, Dreams quotes.
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“Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
Similar Quotes. About: God quotes.
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“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
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“Teflon brain - nothing sticks”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
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“Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
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“Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
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“Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
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“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
Similar Quotes. About: Belief quotes.
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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
Drew Carey quotes (American Comedian, b.1958)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Hate quotes, Jobs quotes.
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“The road to success is always under construction”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
Similar Quotes. About: Success quotes.
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