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“Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.”

Chris Rock quotes

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“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?”

Chris Rock quotes

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“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason”

Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)

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“The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.”

Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)

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“I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.”

Chris Rock quotes

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“Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”

Charles M. Schulz quotes (American cartoonist, 1922-2000)

Similar Quotes. About: Cute quotes, Funny quotes, World quotes.

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“Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain't got one.”

Chris Rock quotes

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“It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.”

Mae West quotes (American Actress and sex symbol, 1892-1980)

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“Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four. We own this shit. Basketball, baseball, football, golf, tennis, and as soon as they make a heated hockey rink we'll take that shit too.”

Chris Rock quotes

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“If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.”

Chris Rock quotes

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“Prohibition? HA! They tried that in the movies and it didn't work”

Homer Simpson quotes (Fictional character from the animated television series created by Matt Groening, The Simpsons.)
Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes

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