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And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
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and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.
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“
Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.
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American
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“
Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.
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American
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best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words "Some Assembly Required
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
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Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Technically, Windows is an "operating system," which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating.
”
Dave Barry quotes
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American
Writer
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Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.
”
santiz
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(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
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Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
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“
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
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