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“All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Mankind quotes, Inventions quotes, History quotes.
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“Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“I am a world-class weenie when it comes to letting people stick needles into me. My subconscious mind firmly believes that if God had wanted us to have direct access to our bloodstreams, He would have equipped our skin with small, clearly marked doors.”
santiz Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.”
santiz Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the life of an infant or catching a fly ball, a woman will automatically choose to save the infant, without even considering if there's a man on base.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Men and Women quotes.
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“Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Scientists quotes.
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“I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Life quotes.
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“The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Democracy quotes.
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