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“A new biography of Madonna came out last week, and apparently the biography lists all the men she's slept with. The book is apparently called the Manhattan Telephone Directory.”
Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)

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“Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.”
Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)
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“In New York now, they have Harvey Milk High School for gay students. They don't have much of a football team, but the half-time show . . .”
Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)
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“Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.”
Jenny0103 Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)
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“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”
Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)
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“. . . remember, guns don't kill people -- unless you practice real hard.”
Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)
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“Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."”
Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)
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“Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.”
Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)
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“Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?”
Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)
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“We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.”
Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)
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“When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.”
Anand_Singh Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)
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