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“A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Florida's number three industry, behind tourism and skin cancer, is voter fraud”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: America and Americans quotes.

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“The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.”

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Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Admit it, sport-utility-vehicle owners! It's shaped a little differently, but it's a station wagon! And you do not drive it across rivers! You drive it across the Wal-Mart parking lot!”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“It is a well-known fact that although the public is fine when taken individually, when it forms itself into large groups, it tends to act as though it has one partially consumed Pez tablet for a brain.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other...”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Science quotes.

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“Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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