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“A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)

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“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Church quotes, Nations quotes, Separation quotes.
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“I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.”
no_echo George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Alcohol quotes, Women quotes.
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“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Driving quotes.
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