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“"I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, I would really go over there and grab those signs and smash them over their heads and shove them up their asses. But...I'm a loving, spiritual person." ”
Missy6128 Ellen DeGeneres quotes (American Actress and stand-up Comedian, b.1958 New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)

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“I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I'm gonna rip it off.”
Missy6128 Ellen DeGeneres quotes (American Actress and stand-up Comedian, b.1958 New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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“Yeah [I'm thirty-six], but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.”
Ellen DeGeneres quotes (American Actress and stand-up Comedian, b.1958 New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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“I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.”
Janeane Garofalo quotes (American Actress and Comedian. b.1964 Newton, New Jersey, USA)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“"Here's the analogy. If my body were a car, I'd be thinking about trading it in around now. I would like to upgrade. I would be actually on the lot somewhere and some guy with a loud sports jacket would be sizing me up...kinda lookin' around goin--maybe kickin my knees. Looking behind me going: "That looks a little bashed in back there...Yeah. You mind if I check under the hood?" 'Well yes I do! Thank you very much."(talking about her body and the fact that she's aging.)”
Missy6128 Ellen DeGeneres quotes (American Actress and stand-up Comedian, b.1958 New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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“"Hello?..Oh, hi Tom. Ooh, I've been dying to see that movie...Mmm no, I just opened up some yogurt. I am in for the night....Not even later, it's the kind with the fruit on the bottom. Thanks anyway. Have fun." "Oh...Sorry I'm late...Traffic. Hm. Really? How you think I got here? Hellacoptered in?"”
Missy6128 Ellen DeGeneres quotes (American Actress and stand-up Comedian, b.1958 New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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“Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.”
Missy6128 Ellen DeGeneres quotes (American Actress and stand-up Comedian, b.1958 New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?”
santiz Chris Rock quotes
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“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
santiz Dr. Seuss quotes (American Writer and Cartoonist best known for his collection of children's books. 1904-1991)
Similar Quotes. About: Friends quotes, Friendship quotes, Family quotes, Confidence quotes, Uniqueness quotes. For: Birthday quotes, Thank You quotes, Just Because quotes.
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“I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.''”
Ellen DeGeneres quotes (American Actress and stand-up Comedian, b.1958 New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”
Mary Anne Radmacher quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Inspiration quotes, Courage quotes, Trying quotes.
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