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“"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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31-40 Quotations of 217

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“A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me. I'm afraid of widths.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“I installed a skylight in my apartment... The people who live above me are furious!”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row."”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“If God dropped acid, would he see people?”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“My school colors were clear. We used to say, "I'm not naked, I'm in the band."”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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