Thinkexist Quotations
My Account Help
Add the "Dynamic Daily Quotation" to Your Site or Blog - it's Easy!
 
All Jack Handy
QuotationsAuthorsTopicsKeywordsContributors My Quotations More...
Famous people:  Name|Nationality|Occupation|Date|Curiosity 
 Authors > J Jak > Jack Handy
1-10 Quotations of 190

Jack Handy quotes

bookmark email link cite rss
American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.

Popularity:
Jack Handy popularity 8/10
    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.”
 dmg

 Jack Handy quote

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.”
 dmg

 Jack Handy quote

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting”

 Jack Handy quote

Similar Quotes. About: God quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching.”
 dmg

 Jack Handy quote

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.”
 dmg

 Jack Handy quote

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!”

 Jack Handy quote

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth - that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally - but I didn't want to upset him.”

 Jack Handy quote

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Death and dying quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Hambone.”
 teardrop

 Jack Handy quote

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.”
 dmg

 Jack Handy quote

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?”
 dmg

 Jack Handy quote

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
               Jack Handy quotes - next
Submit a New Jack Handy quote
<< Jack Handey quotesJack Hanley quotes >>
Related Articles
funny humorous quotes
funny and humorous quotes

   
Suggested
> T-Shirt quotes
> funny quotes
> famous quotes
> movie quotes
> sayings
> proverbs
> funny sayings
> Inspirational Quotes
> Cute Quotes
> Friendship Quotes
> Motivational Quotes
ThinkExist.com Quotations
Privacy & Security Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | About us | Press room | Contact us | Help
Copyright ® ThinkExist 1999-2016