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Authors > Glp Gzz > Groucho Marx

1-10 Quotations of 129

Groucho Marx quotes

American Comedian, Actor and Singer, 1890-1977

Groucho Marx quotes

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“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”
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“Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women”
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“Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.”
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“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
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“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
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“Women should be obscene and not heard.”
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“I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it”
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“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.”
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“If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.”
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“Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you”
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