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George F. Burns quotes

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American comedian 1896-1996
George F. Burns quotes
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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.”

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