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Authors > Geo Geo > George F. Burns

1-10 Quotations of 38

George F. Burns quotes

American comedian 1896-1996

George F. Burns quotes

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“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns quote
Similar Quotes. About: Drinking quotes, Humor quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.”
George F. Burns quote
Similar Quotes. About: Happiness quotes, Relationships quotes, Men and Women quotes.
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“I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.”
George F. Burns quote
Similar Quotes. About: Death and dying quotes.
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“I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.”
George F. Burns quote
Similar Quotes. About: Future quotes.
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“It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.”
George F. Burns quote
Similar Quotes. About: Change quotes, Time quotes.
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“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope”
George F. Burns quote
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“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.”
George F. Burns quote
Similar Quotes. About: Sermons quotes.
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“I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.”
George F. Burns quote
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“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
George F. Burns quote
Similar Quotes. About: Age quotes.
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“This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.”
George F. Burns quote
Similar Quotes. About: Books quotes.
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