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Eddie Izzard quotes

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British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962
Eddie Izzard quotes

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.”
 katysara

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“But with dogs, we do have “bad dog.” Bad dog exists. “Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!” The dog is saying, “Who are you to judge me? You human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colors, religions, and I stole a biscuit?! Is that a crime? People of the world!”

“Well, if you put it that way, I think you’ve got a point. Have another biscuit, sorry.””
 Arco

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.”
 Arco

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).”
 AngelFire

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“But then the Roman Empire fell like this- "oh shit". And we went into
what the historians called the Stupid Fucker period. Where everyone
was going -"er, I dunno. Is that a Roman road? Can we eat it?" Then
there was the dark Ages. " I can't even see you! Where are you?"”
 maaatin

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!"”
 Hassle

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“‘Cause, "Cake or death?" That's a pretty easy question. Anyone could answer that.
"Cake or death?"
"Eh, cake please."
"Very well! Give him cake!"
"Oh, thanks very much. It's very nice."
"You! Cake or death?"
“Uh, cake for me, too, please."
"Very well! Give him cake, too! We're gonna run out of cake at this rate. You! Cake or death?"
"Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry. Sorry..."
"You said death first, uh-uh, death first!"
"Well, I meant cake!"
"Oh, all right. You're lucky I'm Church of England!" Cake or death?"”
 choemke

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that…”
 Arco

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